Girlfriend

Guess what shitty thing happened... It turns out that Blane has a Girlfriend! I guess this is for the best though. He deserves somone so much better then me.

YAY

OMG I am so happy! I am going to go back to the Carolina Center today! So Basically I get to see Blane and Brye!
Brye is basically my bff there!

Friends

I miss My friends At the carolina center soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Much!

Songza

Ok so When my aunt came over she introduced me to a website called songza. It rocks! I love it you can creat your own playlist or lessen to one someone else created! It is the best!
www.songza.com

Fire

Guess what happened today... My Aunt came! so now I am getting the campfire ready so we can sit around the campfire while we eat! Its going to be such a fun night!
Back! I had a great time! It was amazing!

Dancing

OMG guess what happened today?!?!?Ok so I was at the Carolina Center. Well durning group, we decided to dance at the end so I went up to Blane (my crush) and was like Want to dance? and he was like Ok. After wards I was like thanks for dancing with me and he was like anytime and omg he is so amazing!

Yeah!

Hey people! Ok so guess how perfect Blane is... Completly Perfect! So I was like (in my journal) {that I let him Read} he saw that I had written that I thought that no one would care if I died and that I would be doing everyone a Favor and he told me That he thought that I was worth something and it was sad that I felt that way and that he would care.

Ugh

Ok, so I'm just minding my own buiness and all of a sudden apparently something addressed to the family im not allowed to open! So mom just starts yelling at me and screaming at me! and then when I walk away she calls me childish! What the fuck am I supposted to do? because I really want to cut but if I do then I might have to go to resenental care at the Carolian Center! How do I calm myself down fast enought? Because I am one small thing away from cutting! Comment and tell me what you think I should do... Even if you comment tomorrow I can use it in the future or email me at gothgirl19941998@gmail.com

~Rachel

 

Dy 3 of Carolina Center

Ok, Hey y'all! So there is a new guy, he showed up two days ago, and he freaking rocks! I think he may be the guy that Finally likes me for who I am and not what I give to guys. His name is Blane

My Crush

Ok so today was a sad day, Why? because my crush left The Carolina Center! I gave him my info before he left though. So I can hardly wait to hear from him.

Day 1 of Carolina Center

Hey y'all! So today was my frist full day at the Carolina Center. And there is this one boy there, and damn is he cute! I really like him. And he is bi, so I have a chance of dating him. He says I'm worth it and I deserve better then I get and that when people say I'm worthless they are wrong and that I am pretty and He is really nice! And for once I belive that I just might be worth something!

~Rachel

Carolina Center

Ok so now that the event is over, (by event I mean the thing with the cops) I now have to go to  the Carolina Center. What I do there is I go at 8 am, and come home at 4 pm. Well its my 4th time going to a mental institution, or treatment, as they like to call it. You see I am disobeadent, and I am a cutter. I am also sucidal. Although nobody knows that so lets keep that a secret. I wish I was dead, I know everyone would be better off if I was dead, but I'm too chicken to kill myself. One day I will though.

My Friends

My friends are the only thing keeping me alive sometimes. Other  times I am not sucidal anymore. I love my 6 friends. I would take a bullet for any of them. But none of them would want me to. What do I do? 4 of those friends are at school. But for the next 2 weeks I'm going to not be at school! and not because of holiday break. It will be because I will be considered home bound and I will be going to the Carolina Center. It's a mental place that helps you cope with your problems.

Help

Help me, I'm gonna cry.
No I won't
But I did
What do I do?
Now I hate myself.
Someone shoot me

About me

Hey all you people reading, I Wanted To help y'all learn about me. I am 14 years old and live in Greenville South Carolina. I have a 18 pound cat and two fish. My cat's name is Sneakers and My male fish is named Car which is short for Carolina because he is blue and white. My female fish is Rainbow. I love writing. I have 3 different websites that I publish my work on, the most current one is http://wattpad.com/gothgirl19941998
So please check it out and message me :).
Also My name is Rachel. I have a Fiancé named John. He is 17 years old. I love him with all my heart. I date other guys becuase we are taking a break from each other so I consider myself single. But I still wear his ring.

Night Before Last

So baicaly when my parents and I were talking then I got really upset and so to keep myself from cutting then I decided that I would go for a walk and my parents told me if I walked out the door then they would call the cops on my but I walked out anyways, then I came back within like 5 minutes and so they told the cops not to come but they came anyways. So then I was being a bitch to the cops and then they punched me in the face and I kicked one of them on the leg and then they hauled me to the ground and it took 3 of them to get me handcuffed and they decided that saditating me would be the best option so they stuck a needle in my arm and then I stayed awake anyways because I was fighting it so hard and then I cut because I was so upset. So ems took me to the hospital strapped down and then I had to stay overnight. 

OMG

Ok so I'm at home and I am waiting to find out weather or not the police are pressing charges or not. I think they are. (for kicking them)